Leafs: The Final Frontier



This is an exercise I promised myself I’d undertake at some point back when I was writing more regularly at Puckin’ Eh. It allows me to merge two my favourite things The Leafs and Star Trek and after discussing the pros and cons of holodeck episodes with a few Leafs fans this afternoon it gave me a push to finally finish this concept.

Without further adieu, I present the Leafs as Star Trek characters:

Phaneuf- As much as I tried to find a Captain that fits the mold of Dion, it’s much more likely his Star Trek doppelganger is the character that speaks in grunts, has a short temper and pronounced forehead. In short Dion is Worf. Hopefully when he’s turning up the volume on the locker room music it’s not Klingon Opera.



Liles- He’s calming presence who’s a little smoother than most and seems to be wise beyond his years. If I had to place Liles he would be Captain Sulu

Gunnarsson- Originally thrust into his role out of necessity because there was no one else to do his role we have quickly learned that Gunnarsson is completely capable and a better alternative to most other options. That makes Gunnarsson the Emergency Medical Hologram from Voyager.

Gardiner- Boy wonder extraordinaire, Jake Gardiner is Wesley Crusher.

Schenn- It’s hard to come up with the right Star Trek analogy for Schenn. I guess when you think that so much is expected of him and that he’d be further along in his career by now, as well as the fact that he is a solid leader you can compare him to Commander Riker.

Komisarek- I don’t understand the point of him or appreciate anything he brings to the franchise so with that in mind Komisarek is Jake Sisko.

Franson- While it took some time to assimilate Franson into the Leafs lineup his efficient style has adapted nicely to the Toronto blueline. Cody Franson winds up as our 7 of 9.

Kessel- He’s awkward around others, he’s the best at anything he does, but he doesn’t seem to understand humanity. Kessel is Lt. Commander Data. And how is Kessel getting picked last in the All-Star game not like when Picard passed Data over for a command position in the classic Next Generation two-parter Redemption?

Lupul- Smooth talking ladies man with an aggressive style, I present you your Captain Kirk.
James T. Lupul

Bozak- Nerdy but incredibly likeable, I’d say Bozak is the closest thing the Leafs have to a Geordi Laforge. He's also the Leaf I'd vote for as most likely to fall in love on a holodeck.

Grabovski- Nobody in the Star Trek franchise walked the line of crazy/genius more than Scotty. So of course Grabbo is Scotty.

Kulemin- Chekov. And now my goal in life is to hear Nikolai say Nuclear Wessels.


MacArthur- He quietly does a good job, but at the same time good luck finding any who says he’s essential or their favourite. He’s a good cog but you’re willing to see if another piece could fit instead. Clarke MacArthur is Ensign Kim.

Connolly- Constantly in fear he’ll catch a strange disease, injury himself or be transported into a million pieces, Tim Connolly is Lt. Barclay. In fact I think the thing Connolly hasn’t had is a disease that turns him into a giant spider.

Lombardi- He’s probably only around for one season so that makes Lombardi Dr. Pulaski.

Armstrong- Remember that first episode of the original series? Thanks to his crippling boneitis Colby is Captain Pike.
Buzz once if you think you're gone by next season
Boyce- With a nose that mangled Boyce could only be Bajoran.

Rosehill- Any Red shirt from the original series.
He's Dead Jim

Crabb- He’s not bad, but you have lower expectations for him than pretty much everyone else. Therefore Joey Crabb is the entire Enterprise series.

Steckel- He’s good in small doses as a specialist, but when you’re exposed to him at greater length you’re let down that he can’t carry the show. Steckel is Chief Miles O’Brien.

Brown- While going through this exercise Mike Brown was the last player I came to on the list. He’s here for security and he logically picks his spots so I’m defaulting Mike Brown to be Lt. Commander Tuvok.

Reimer- Calm, Cool, Collected in net, Reimer is Spock.

Gustavsson- Gustavsson is the polar opposite of Reimer, emotional, inconsistent, so he’s B’lanna Torres.

So that’s my take on the players. Now if I were to consider the other two key components of the Leafs I would say Wilson’s stubborn leading style and insistence that he’s always right reminds me of Captain Janeway. As for Burke he’s clearly General Martok from Deep Space Nine. Battle hungry, but wise enough to have a solid plan of attack rather blinding send forces into battle.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments. I’d especially like to hear you think is the Picard of the Leafs.

4 comments:

Shan said...

I'm not a Leaf fan, but as a Star Trek fan, I enjoyed this. Your justifications for each choice were good.

I might've made Nazem Kadri Wesley Crusher instead. He has skill, for sure, but keeps getting sent away because he does dumb things like attempting to deke out the opposition with a Kolvoord Starburst.

Steckel is a faceoff specialist, which is why I say he's a Tom Paris.

Komisarek is KomiGARAK. He came to the station from the enemy Montreal, now hated there, and basically every time he's on the ice, he's the saboteur (of his own team). Do NOT let him talk to Luke Schenn because he is a bad influence.

Anonymous said...

Calm leadership, understated dignity, deep thinker ... bald. Clearly there is no current Leaf that can be Picard, so it's got to be Sundin.

chubbySpartan said...

Clearly Wilson is Odo ... just because they look identical.

And as good as Shan's point is about KomiGARAK, you might want to also consider the possibility that Komisarek could be Lwaxana Troi because no one wants him around.

YakovMironov said...

All of these have been excellent points. Thanks for the comments.