Top Ten Head in The Oven Signings

I wasn't planning on posting here tonight, but I was greatly inspired by Todd Bertuzzi re-signing in Detroit. There is a part of me that believed Burke would have made an offer to him. I respect Burke's loyalty, but don't think Leafs fans should have to pay for it.

So a couple of notes on this list, these are more or less players I could see Burke attempting to sign or can't completely rule out. The list is Goaltender free since there is no reason to sign one.

So here are the ten worst names to hear in the sentence "The Leafs have just signed......."

10. Colby Armstrong.
Probably surprised you with this first one. The reason he's on the list is every single fan base think that Colby Armstrong is the missing piece for their team. With publicity like that this guy isn't signing cheap. At 2 million a season I'd love him on the Leafs. Final point on Colby, Burke needs to pay his bottom six like their bottom six forwards, and if Armstrong is being considered a top six guy, it's going to be another long season for the Leafs.

9. Fernando Pisani.
His name isn't out there that often in UFA discussions, but he's definitely another bottom six guy with occasional scoring flashes. He will be cheaper than Armstrong, and I'm sure he won't be making the 2.5 million he made last year, but this guy is an injury prone mess. He also found his way into be a healthy scratch from time to time on the Oilers, so take that for what it's worth.

8. Marek Svatos
The more I look into him, the less I want to see him on the Leafs. He's been rumoured to Toronto for about two years now, and that frightens me. He's got injury problems, as he seems to have caught whatever Jonathan Cheechoo has that makes him get exponentially worse every season.

7. Chris Chelios
I know he'd be purely depth, and may never see a game on the Leafs, but I worry because he's close with Burke and Toronto isn't to far away from home for him. He'd be a league minimum guy, but it's time for him to go or be beheaded or something.

6. Saku Koivu
It's hard to make a case for an ex-Hab, and I won't. I'll say pass. He's past his prime and would serve mainly as an expensive third line centre. He brings leadership and some secondary scoring, but I weep for anyone who thinks he could be Kessel's pivot.

5. Brendan Morrison
I don't think anyone has made a case for him coming here, but much like my worries about Bertuzzi, I don't rule out the fact that Burke liked him enough to bring him to Anaheim.

4. Olli Jokinen
Whoever signs him is the GM who was most pissed off at missing out on Marleau. Since Sather and Sutter have already used up their stupid acquisitions of Olli, who takes him next? It's times like this I wish Brian Lawton was still a GM in the league. Burke is too smart to go for him, but I'd really hate to see this guy in the Blue and White.

3. Jon Sim
This one just scores lameness points. I've heard people talking about the Leafs signing this guy, and to them I say, "No one has ever improved their team by signing a player the Islanders don't want." Case and point Mr. Jason Blake. Also Jon Sim is like the worst case scenario for John Mitchell's career path. If we want a Jon Sim player, keep John Mitchell

2. Paul Martin
Paul Martin represents every single defenseman who is going to command over $3,000,000. No more expensive defensemen please!!!

1. Raffi Torres
This is sort of a return to my thoughts on Colby Armstrong, and Fernando Pisani. I hate the talk that this guy is all but signed by the Leafs already. Really he's not the worst player of this group, but because of the strong possibility of him coming here, I really want to point out that it's a bad idea. Don't look at the Oilers Stanley Cup Run, and don't look at the first half of last season. All that's left is injuries and poor production. He isn't the defensive answer he's portrayed as, and he's going to frustrate everyone who thinks he will chip in consistent offense. Jump on the bandwagon with me and say no to Raffi.


The Meatriarchy said...

Add Kovalchuck to that list. unless he is willing to to a 5 year deal at less than 7 mill per which he wont.

I agree with all the others on the list btw esp Torres and Pisani.

Anonymous said...

Colby Armstrong is also as slow as a Glacier or Jason Allison on a breakaway.
(Apologies to the Glacier for that one)